Graduate student trouble

I have this guy in my lab who I currently fund off of an NSF grant.  He is not particularly good at what I need him to do, but I didn't have any other options at the time so had to go with him.  This also meant that he got to go to the field this past summer, where he massively under-impressed my colleagues (the co-director on the project even suggested that I put someone else on the project, and this is one of the most laid-back, nicest guys on the planet).  I'm working on this, but obviously can't do it overnight.  So I'm stuck with him for this semester while I sneaky transition his project over to my new graduate student who will likely be really good at this.

This guy came into my lab with a pretty inchoate idea of what he wanted to do for a dissertation project.  (For  some background, in our department students typically do not do a subset of their advisor's work for their thesis but rather have to develop an independent project.)  He had some general interests that are better suited for a different lab and somewhat tangential to my work (and IMHO rather boring), but I was very clear with him that if he came into my lab he needed to get his ideas more in line with the kinds of projects that I can supervise. 

For the last 1.5 years he has continued to come back to me with dissertation ideas that are in this boring area of research that I don't do.  We have the same conversation over and over and over.  I have told him more than once that if this is what he wants to do he would be better off trying to switch advisors/labs.

But here he sits, always sort-of seeming to adjust his direction by the end of each of these conversations, but it does not appear to sink in.

And yesterday he missed our first lab meeting of the semester so that he could go to a meeting with another graduate student with whom he is collaborating on a little project on Topic Boring (from the lab of the faculty member who does Topic Boring very well).

He did not send me an email either telling me that he was going to miss the lab meeting, or apologizing for missing it (and why) once he remembered that he missed it.  I asked him this morning where he was and he said he had mistakenly scheduled another meeting.  I then ask what the meeting was that he deemed more important than our lab meeting.  He tells me, Topic Boring with graduate student Y.  I ask him what he plans to do to about missing the meeting, and he says that he talked to the other graduate students in my lab.  I then asked  who was paying for his salary and his tuition last semester, this summer, and this semester.  He says, "I guess you want me to say 'you'."  And I then ask him why he didn't write to me, apologize, or explain what happened TO ME.  He said he didn't have an reason.

I said, "yes you did, it is because you are disrespectful."

What would you do with this guy?  I am leaning towards finding a graceful way to get him the hell out of my lab.  I have a wonderful relationship with all of my other students and we get along great, and I bend over backwards to make sure they have as many opportunities as I can provide for them and that they get good jobs when they leave my lab.  But there is a lot of mutual respect there and so it is easy to be inspired to go the distance for them.  I don't get this sense at all from this guy.

It's been a long week

Tiny Tot came down with the nasty cold Dh brought home, as you know.  Man was it a doozy of a first cold.  She still isn't all well but she hasn't needed the albuterol at all today and was finally able to sleep in her crib last night and not the car seat.  Unfortunately this week of illness has totally screwed up her good night-time sleep habits.  I miss them.

I miss sleep.

She wakes up about every 1.5-2 hours; at least last night she only needed me for two of those wake-ups, but I still wake up and listen intently to her for about 5 minutes every time she calls out to make sure she falls back to sleep.  This is not what I call restful sleep, and did I mention that I have come down with the cold-from-hell too?  Oof.

I hate to admit this but I am SO looking forward to daycare tomorrow.  Mads is wonderful, but this week has been intense and I'm really tired.  I kept her home all last week because her cough was so awful, she needed meds, she couldn't lay down without a horrible coughing fit, and I really didn't want to risk her getting all those other kids so sick.  There are a couple of 3 month old babies in her "class" and that would be really sad for someone so freaking little.  Mads' 6 months was little and sad enough.

I have come to realize that I am a much better mama if I have some time away from the pip squeak. 

One of the good things that came from all of this is that Dh took care of Mads on Saturday from 1-10pm by himself so I could go to school and get some work done.  Yesterday he was a changed man, saying things like, "are you sure you are ok to take care of her *all day* by yourself?  it's a lot of work and kind of stressful."  He even noticed that it is not so relaxing to watch TV after she goes to sleep 'cause you gotta listen for her.  :)  

I loved the time at work.  It was the first time since Mads was born that I went to school and didn't have to watch the clock in order to be back in time to relieve the nanny or pick her up from day care.  While I totally love picking Maddy up, it was nice to let my mind be free of the responsibility for a night.

(BTW, I think I traumatized my child by suctioning her nose.  She won't let me anywhere near her nose now, hence the huge boogy in her left nostril.  Poor Tiny Tot)