The directorship

Thank you so much for all the hellos and welcome backs!

Here's today's installment.

Late last spring I was super excited to apply for a directorship position that had opened up on my campus. This was a really, really good fit for my experiences and interests, although I would not have been the first person you would have thought of for it given the department I'm in.

The announcement for the position clearly stated that the admin was going to hire from among our own tenured faculty. I did a lot of research, laid out an assessment of the problems the organization faced and is facing, and set forth a clear plan for fundraising and dealing with the personnel issues. My interview went really well. I really, really wanted the job.

There were three people who applied for the position. I knew who one of them was, a more senior woman who is the chair of her department and had a more obvious background for the position. She was the ideal classical-fit person for the job. I was pretty certain that she was an inside candidate for it, and would definitely get the position. But I hoped that my ideas might well resonate well enough that she'd be told about me and she'd maybe bring me in to help.

Turns out that neither of us got the position.

I learned fairly soon thereafter that it wasn't going to be me, but word on who had been offered the job was mute. For weeks and weeks there was no announcement. There was a some weird announcement that an assistant professor was going to be appointed as a "faculty liaison", whatever the heck that is. But no announcement of the director's position.

And then I found out that that faculty liaison person, yea, well, the untenured white guy, the search committee wanted him. The problem was that he didn't have tenure, so they couldn't hire him as the director. He's still only an "acting director" because he still doesn't have tenure. Apparently it isn't a clear cut case.

Great. The guy with little experience and no tenure was brought in to clean up the institutional mess. The two more senior women were passed over.

But of course, he has a penis, so we don't have to worry, we are in good hands.
That makes sense.
What was I thinking?

More tomorrow.

A new page...

I haven't posted in quite a while. Honestly, my life changed quite a bit with the birth of my daughter. It is somewhat amusing that I had started this blog when I was heart broken over wanting a child but struggling with miscarriage and infertility. I was insecure about writing that type of blog, so I named this "surviving academia", thinking that I'd make it more academic-like. And I set up the username InBetween.

Now I increasingly find myself struggling more and more with academia. Surviving.

And the username is now remarkably well suited to where I find myself trapped. I am beating my heat against the glass ceiling over and over and over. I am one of those female associate professors trapped just below Full Professor. Glass ceiling. Bullet proof glass ceiling.

Luckily I have my now 4-year-old-daughter. She is the light. When she hugs me, laughs, breathes, I am revived.

But revival is harder and harder these days. So, I thought maybe I should return to my blog. See if sharing my stories of humiliations and frustrations and the occasional wins resonates with others, and in finding a community, helps me deal with how angry I'm feeling these days.

Here is today's story:

The antagonist:

Director of Institute who is in love with himself, we will call him Director N. For a little back-story to give you a sense of what he is like... he is so impressed with himself that he actually found out about a small conference that was restricted to elite of elite. He then called the organizers up and said, "You forgot to invite me!" And then, just showed up with everyone looking around like, "what's up with this guy???" Oh, and he applied for a job once, didn't make the short list and then called up the chair of the search committee and essentially said, "WTF? You forgot to put me on the short list!" Yeah, never should have hired the guy, but we did. Oh, and we made him a director, cause, why not?

And to set more of the stage, don't forget that I am married to a more senior colleague in my department. He's currently off in the field doing field work, as he always does this time of year. There is no internet access in the field.

The scene... I am walking down the long hallway to the bathroom. Director N and two of his assistant prof disciples are standing there with him, talking.

Dilemma, do I blow them off by waving and keep walking past to the bathroom? I am conflicted: the two disciples aren't bad people and I recently interacted in an unexpected forum with one of their graduate students. It was an appropriate time to say something nice and compliment the student to her advisor.

Decision, I stop to talk.

Director N: Is your husband in town or has he left for the field yet?

Me: Cringing. Sorry, yes, he's in the field.

Director N: Ah, too bad. I am drafting an important document about how we are incorporating undergrads in our research that I'd like to run by him. I have decided that it is important to generate more attention to what our institute is doing, buy us some protection from the new budget cuts. Do you know, we have about 50 undergrads involved with our institute?!

Me: looking at him oddly, as 14 of those are students that work in my lab. They work in my lab but we are technically involved with a research project of mine that is housed in another "center". But, since the director of that other "center" didn't care to include them in his count of undergrad-involvement, I told Director N about them so he can claim them.

Director N: I mean, including undergrad research assistants that are in some way involved with our institute even if indirectly. I have decided that this is now key to protecting us from university restructuring and cut-backs.

Me: Yes, I agree. That is why I had tried to get you to approve a new course initiative that would have formalized and expanded our undergrad research training a few years ago, but you were uninterested.

Director N: But we do a lot of it anyway... blah blah... as important as the library.... blah blah...  (by the way, 50 really is very little compared to what we could be doing easily given that we have about 100+ people associated with the institute and tremendous resources that are ideally suited to easily involve undergrads very productively, but what do I know?)

Conversation goes on and on... never asks me if I could take a look at the document. Afterall, why would I have any important perspective to add to the issue of training undergrads in hands-on-research? Only my husband does.

He has a penis.
That makes sense.
What was I thinking?

More tomorrow.

Do you know someone who....?

I have noticed a rise in the number of a particular type of request that I find odd. Well, it isn't really the request itself that is weird, but how it is phrased. It goes like this...

***** SCENARIO 1 *******
Dear Prof. InB,

I am looking for an outside member for my dissertation committee, someone preferably who does *exactly what I do*. Could you please recommend someone in your department who would be able to help me?

Sincerely,
Graduate student you have never met from another department

*******
Dear Graduate student I have never met,

Well, if you are looking for suggestions for other people, have you considered Professors X, Y, or Z?

all my best,
Prof. InB

*******
Dear Prof. InB,

I have, but none of them is available to help me. Do you know of anyone else?

Sincerely,
Graduate student from another department

*******
Dear Graduate student I have never met,

I am a bit confused, are you asking if I might be available to serve in this capacity? Or, are you really hoping that I know of someone else who can help you?

all my best,
Prof. InB

*******
Dear Prof. InB,

I would be most grateful if you could serve on my committee...

***** SCENARIO 2 ***********

And then, an interaction with an editor from a publishing company went something like this. To set the stage, XYZ is exactly my research topic/area.

Editor: I have been wanting to talk with you as I'm interested in a book on topic XYZ. Who would you recommend for this?

Me: I apologize for being blunt here, but are you asking for me to recommend colleagues to you or are you asking if I would be interested in doing this?

Editor: I am hoping that you might be interested in doing it...

*********

Is it just me or is this a weird way to ask someone for something? What's up with this approach?