true confessions

I find my own baby absolutely adorable but 90% of the other babies I see? not so much.

Sometimes when I pick up M from daycare I don't immediately recognize which kid is mine.

I am sad to think about weaning M as I will really miss the amazing intimacy we share. I have never had that with someone before and know I never will again. The more she learns to walk and be independent, the more she moves away from that intimacy, and it makes me sad. Although I guess it is good that my immediate reaction when she does something new is excitement. Later, when I am holding her sleeping in my arms before putting her in her crib for the night, I hold my face very close to hers, feel her breath on my face, and feel very nostalgic.

M knows the word "shoe". She is so my daughter.

I have been pumping extra milk for my sister's new baby. I am very, very tired of doing it. In fact, I am really tired of the whole pumping thing. I loved the christmas trip to visit family as I didn't pump at all. But my sister is so grateful that I feel guilty for wanting to stop. One more month... and then my last couple of months of nursing M will be just for M.

The last couple of evenings I have found myself watching MTV's "Teen Moms 2". It is like a bad car accident that I can't look away from... Tears well up in my eyes for some of those little babies. It is just so unfair how the chance of who your parents are determines so much of your life.