My IF past

This blog is not really an infertility blog anymore.  I find myself writing more about life in general, mama things, wife things, sometimes politics, very rarely about academia (although my academic career definitely colors everything I do).  I don't know how many new people come to visit here, but if you do, the Fert History bar is likely a bit misleading.

So, I decided to get rid of that side gadget, the one that lets people know what I went through on my way to mama-hood.

Plus, the more time that goes by, and the more I read of other people's long and extremely difficult experiences, the more I no longer feel that I can claim membership in the IF world.  I have deep, deep empathy/sympathy, but I don't have the street cred to continue asking for inclusion.  I kind of feel like a person who used to be an amputee but then grew the limb back.  I know what it was like, the scars are memories still in my heart in the far dark corners, but I can't claim handicap status anymore.  I still follow some of the IF blogs that have a big spot in my heart, so I'm definitely not walking away from that world.  I am there, cheering for my blog-sisters.

I am trying to explain this but I don't know if it is coming out right.  Hopefully you know what I mean.  

But for the record:

2008 January: The TALK with DH. TTC starts.

2008 September: conception

2008 October: miscarriage

2009 January: start OPKs and HPTs like a junkie

2009 May: start acupuncture & massage therapy & BBT charting in addition to the OPKs

2009 May 5: talk to OB/GYN about infertility

2009 May 26: first RE visit

2009 June 26: 1st HSG scheduled, kicked out b/c of heart murmur... inexplicably crushed beyond reason

2009 August: good friend who is 39 announces her accidental pregnancy w/#3 (and of course, she and her hubby are both unemployed)

2009 October: can't take it anymore and go to see RE #2 who totally rocks, start estrogen, clomid and progesterone to boost my own cycle (honestly thought this might work)

2009 December 28: return to RE #2 and ask for much more intervention, can't take much more of this, we decide on IVF

2010 January: tests, tests, and more tests; find out I have a funky uterus that needs surgery to fix

2010 February18: surgery goes well, now have to wait 30 days to heal

IVF attempt #1 (converted to IUI)
2010 March 15: start lupron
2010 March 26: stop lupron, start gonal-f and menopur
2010 April 5: advised to convert IVF to IUI b/c only 3 mature follicles
2010 April 7: IUI #1
2010 April 21: BFN, of course

2010 April 23-May 9 Ganirelix injections every morning

2010 May 10 baseline ultrasound and find 2 cysts on left ovary... start BCPs

IVF attempt #2
2010 May 30 last day of BCPs, Jun 1 is CD 1
2010 Jun 4 start micro-dose of lupron (20 units AM and PM)
2010 Jun 6 start 4 amps Gonal-f and 1 amp Menopur (plus 2 shots of lupron each day)
2010 Jun 15 retrieval, 6 (2 good, 1 ok, 3 very small)
2010 Jun 17 transfer (2 good ones!)
2010 July 2 BFP, hcg 314 at 15dp2dt
2010 July 6 hcg 1,489 19dp2dt
2010 July 19 11CR length 6mm and HR 124 bpm
2010 July 24 CR length 1.2cm and HR 153 bpm
2011 March 14, birth of M at 7lbs 3oz