My daughter is just over 2 months shy of turning 3. In the whole scheme of things, I think she's a really, really well-behaved and easy kid. I adore her.
I totally get that kids her age are learning to assert their independence, and that is it important for her to have a sense of some control over her life.
But, I am having a harder and harder time figuring out how to get her to do the things that need to be done to get us out the door in the morning. And this means that I end up resorting to using a really stern tone of voice and feeling bad about my frustration level. I let the less important things go, like if she really doesn't want me to brush her hair, ok, but we absolutely have to brush teeth. And clothes are essential. I have taken a PJ'd child to daycare, but haven't yet had to resort to taking a naked one.
Do any parents make it out the door in the morning without having at least one moment of very-stern-voice frustration and perhaps putting on shoes a bit less than gentle? Can you please share some advice?
After I finally got the two of us in the car and M strapped in her car seat, this morning she was just so quiet and looked so serious. I couldn't help but feel like she was reacting to my pulling her monkey away from her as she was shaking him in my face incessantly as I was trying to latch her seatbelt. I didn't raise my voice or even use a really stern tone that time, but I did very quickly jerk the monkey away. I still feel bad...
Tricks? Tips? Anything?
I totally get that kids her age are learning to assert their independence, and that is it important for her to have a sense of some control over her life.
But, I am having a harder and harder time figuring out how to get her to do the things that need to be done to get us out the door in the morning. And this means that I end up resorting to using a really stern tone of voice and feeling bad about my frustration level. I let the less important things go, like if she really doesn't want me to brush her hair, ok, but we absolutely have to brush teeth. And clothes are essential. I have taken a PJ'd child to daycare, but haven't yet had to resort to taking a naked one.
Do any parents make it out the door in the morning without having at least one moment of very-stern-voice frustration and perhaps putting on shoes a bit less than gentle? Can you please share some advice?
After I finally got the two of us in the car and M strapped in her car seat, this morning she was just so quiet and looked so serious. I couldn't help but feel like she was reacting to my pulling her monkey away from her as she was shaking him in my face incessantly as I was trying to latch her seatbelt. I didn't raise my voice or even use a really stern tone that time, but I did very quickly jerk the monkey away. I still feel bad...
Tricks? Tips? Anything?
This sounds just very familiar to what we were going through about a year ago. Luckily it was just a phase. Other parents were telling us similar stories about their kids but these situations also improved after some time. I don't know if there is a magic thing that will work for all kids but here is what helped me deal with these situations:
ReplyDeleteAfter some time I was very frustrated that most of the time I would spend in the morning with my son was me telling him to get dressed, to get dressed faster, saying it again, saying it louder and so on. I got the impression that all I was doing in the morning was shouting at him (I wasn't, but that's how I felt because I was so stressed by this situation). After dropping him off at the daycare I often thought 'he must think I hate him, I have been screaming at him all morning'. So I decided to get up a couple of minutes earlier each morning and spend this time doing something he loved (cuddling, reading a book, whatever). This way I was more relaxed afterwards because I knew I hadn't just been shouting at him the whole morning. And since I was more relaxed, the whole 'drama' of the morning routine just didn't bother me as much as it used to anymore.
I use my "oh no! we're going to be late!" voice which is more like an emergency voice than a stern voice.
ReplyDeleteI *still* go through this with my two. And getting up earlier puts us at 5:30, which won't work, either. We try to prep as much as possible the night before, and I try to get them to "partner" with me, but some days it works better than others. Unfortunately, they don't see the urgency from our perspective ...
ReplyDeleteNo tips.
ReplyDeleteMorning SUCKS. With LG 2.5-4 were especially rough. But then around 7 she yelled about her HAIR. It's always something.
Oh, this post was so timely. P will be 3 in April and every b***ping morning is a struggle to get out of the house. Most days I get all my stuff lined up at the door put on her socks and shoes and carry her out with her screaming. Her older sister (6) can also be hard. We have some sensitivity to clothes issues lately. Today was horrible and I still feel bad. I have zero advice but need some. So I will check back.
ReplyDeleteBless your heart! Before advice, always hugs so **hugs**. I'm late everywhere because it is ALWAYS a battle to get dressed and out the door every morning. But you've got it doubly hard because you *have* to be out the door at a certain time and being late isn't an option for you. My heart goes out to you because every time I tell Sofia it's time to get dressed, she hears 'it's time to run in the opposite direction.' Every time. And I'm so huge and pregnant and slow that I hate life every time it happens.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that works for me is the iPad - I have SUCH a love-hate relationship with that thing, but I tell her that she can have the iPad when she's brushed her teeth and gotten dressed with shoes on. Then I give it to her so she'll be still enough so I can do her hair. Some days it works like a charm, other days she could care less. When she runs wild, I chase her down, catch her, take a deep cleansing breath to settle myself, and explain to her that I've given her the opportunity to help get dressed and now it's time for Mommy to take over and that there will be no more discussion. Sometimes we wrestle, but I've been consistent enough (thank God) that she understands when I tell her that this is her final warning and I will take over next time.
I'm with you Mama! It's not easy and it's probably going to get harder before it gets easier (as I shake in my boots contemplating how in the F I will ever be able to leave the house with two kids!!)