I'm still in Africa with M. We leave in a few days, after 4 weeks here. It's been really interesting, and while I think Dh thinks its been a horrible experience for all of us -- I admit it has been challenging -- I think its been really worthwhile. I have loved having her with us for very selfish reasons, as I miss her so freaking much when I'm over here for so long on my own.
I wanted to share an observation on the culture of kids.
The people here love kids, and it has been really neat to see that side of the culture. That said, everyone here does two things when they see a small child M's age (which is three years old). First, they attempt to take away whatever the kid has in their hand, saying that it is theirs. If small child is not holding anything, they grab me and tell M that I am now their mother. Second, they pick the child up in a fairly uncomfortable way, way up over their head and laugh and laugh.
M does not appreciate either of these things. In fact, she tends to run when she sees some people coming, knowing what is in store for her. M is doing amazingly well with all of the differences, but she definitely finds peace and comfort in her dollies. When people attempt to grab them out of her hands, she is seriously distraught, not amused. And the picking up thing? Oh man, she hates that.
Dh and I brought up the cultural differences with the young woman who is M's nanny. While we thought maybe this would get the message across, the first thing the nanny did when she was with M again was to pretend to take her toy away from her. Geez. This doesn't help things at all. M really, really doesn't like the nanny.
She does, however, absolutely love the drive/mechanic guy that works on Dh's project. Geez does she love him. She really likes for him to pick her up (which is amazing, as she really only likes for me to carry her, and sometimes her daddy). And when he does, she just melts into him, her head on his shoulder, touching his face, etc. It is really sweet. I really wish he could babysit instead of the nanny. You know what he does differently from everyone else? He picks her up gently and very comfortably, and he has never pretended to take something away from her. Plus, he's a really great guy with great aura, and also very handsome. I think he totally is in the mood to have kids too as he's getting married soon. All of this must contribute to M's affection. It is almost embarrassing when the nanny is around, as M is very frank expressing her preferences for some people over others.
What are your experiences with other cultures and how they interact with kids? Here, it is interesting that people interact with me through M, but in the US, people interact with M through me. Very, very different. Could you imagine some stranger coming up to you on the street and pretending to either steal your kid's toy or picking them up in the US? No freaking way.
We are off to France at the end of the week, and I think M will particularly enjoy blending in more and being less of a spectacle. She is so funny asking how it is that everyone here knows she has light skin. With her extremely fair skin and fondness for wearing bright yellow, and being so young, she definitely stands out in a crowd.
I wanted to share an observation on the culture of kids.
The people here love kids, and it has been really neat to see that side of the culture. That said, everyone here does two things when they see a small child M's age (which is three years old). First, they attempt to take away whatever the kid has in their hand, saying that it is theirs. If small child is not holding anything, they grab me and tell M that I am now their mother. Second, they pick the child up in a fairly uncomfortable way, way up over their head and laugh and laugh.
M does not appreciate either of these things. In fact, she tends to run when she sees some people coming, knowing what is in store for her. M is doing amazingly well with all of the differences, but she definitely finds peace and comfort in her dollies. When people attempt to grab them out of her hands, she is seriously distraught, not amused. And the picking up thing? Oh man, she hates that.
Dh and I brought up the cultural differences with the young woman who is M's nanny. While we thought maybe this would get the message across, the first thing the nanny did when she was with M again was to pretend to take her toy away from her. Geez. This doesn't help things at all. M really, really doesn't like the nanny.
She does, however, absolutely love the drive/mechanic guy that works on Dh's project. Geez does she love him. She really likes for him to pick her up (which is amazing, as she really only likes for me to carry her, and sometimes her daddy). And when he does, she just melts into him, her head on his shoulder, touching his face, etc. It is really sweet. I really wish he could babysit instead of the nanny. You know what he does differently from everyone else? He picks her up gently and very comfortably, and he has never pretended to take something away from her. Plus, he's a really great guy with great aura, and also very handsome. I think he totally is in the mood to have kids too as he's getting married soon. All of this must contribute to M's affection. It is almost embarrassing when the nanny is around, as M is very frank expressing her preferences for some people over others.
What are your experiences with other cultures and how they interact with kids? Here, it is interesting that people interact with me through M, but in the US, people interact with M through me. Very, very different. Could you imagine some stranger coming up to you on the street and pretending to either steal your kid's toy or picking them up in the US? No freaking way.
We are off to France at the end of the week, and I think M will particularly enjoy blending in more and being less of a spectacle. She is so funny asking how it is that everyone here knows she has light skin. With her extremely fair skin and fondness for wearing bright yellow, and being so young, she definitely stands out in a crowd.
Poor M!
ReplyDeleteThe culture I am from seems similar to what you describe. My mom and grandma told a tale of a neighbor who came to see us, and started to pretend she would take my mommy away. I was so upset, I started shaking and then I vomited (apparently I wasn't a crier).
There are many cultures where people interact much more directly, almost invasively, with other people's kids than what we are used to seeing here in the US. A few years ago, I took my then 8- or 9-year-old eldest (blonde!) son with me to China to a conference. You have no idea how many times people stopped us to take a picture with him or to touch his hair. Later I found that apparently seeing a blonde white person in the wild is still a rare sight in much of China. My son is easy-going and a people person, so he didn't mind, but I was getting a little fed up.
Hope you enjoy (the very expensive) EU!