I haven't posted in a while. For one, work has been crazy busy. I had to review a bunch of grant proposals and then travel across the country for a panel meeting to decide who should and should not get money. I also had two lectures to prepare last week and an exam to write and set-up for yesterday (when I was out of town). And in the midst of those things, finish up a manuscript and forget to write an important letter of recommendation. Luckily tomorrow is a holiday, so no class.
But tomorrow is also the day that Dh leaves for 6 weeks of field work.
I just got back from the airport and wrote that late letter of recommendation. My head is not right and I can't decide if I am in a bad mood or not. I hardly slept at all last night so that might be the reason. And it has been a long day. And Dh leaves tomorrow night.
The day I found out I was pregnant I had put on a little string bracelet, one of those "make a wish" ones that is supposed to fall off when your wish comes true. I wished for peace.
It fell off sometime today. I am wondering if I have my peace. Maybe, but it feels so fragile.
Mo and Will's bad news reminds me of the fragility even more. I can't imagine the anguish they are feeling right now; it breaks my heart to think of what they are going through.
I just read your friend's news. How awful. I think that you're right; the peace is fragile. I don't think I can't be completely confident until this pregnancy is over. Then, of course, there are an entirely new set of worries to contend with ... but I haven't gotten that far yet.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you ...
Work sounds very overwhelming and I can't imagine what it must be like to be separated from the love of your life for 6 weeks, especially when there are hormones doing jumping jacks in your brain. Peace is here, in this moment. And the moment after that. And after that. Just take it moment by moment. Breathe. We are all here breathing each moment with you.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Maddy
6 weeks without your husband sounds awful at this point. BUT I am very impressed at all that you've managed to accomplish in the past few days. No wonder you are tired!! You've done a lot, and deserve to take it easy (if you can).
ReplyDeleteSounds like a crazy week. My dh was in Africa for 2 months when I was pregnant with my first. I missed him but it was not that bad, since I felt pretty good. I actually spent a lot of time with a good friend of mine and her partner, it was cool to get to know them so well. I would not have had that opportunity otherwise.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!