It was him again...

Last spring dh and I went to see an RE for the first time.  We met Dr. 1 and he seemed ok, did the scan and all of that, suggested IUI and sent us off to do a hysterosalpingogram or whatever the h@!! you call it. 

What he forgot to do was to accommodate my heart murmur into the equation. 

So dh and I take an afternoon off from work and march my fragile emotional self into the big city for my torture session.  I get naked, sitting in the big scary room all by myself only to be told by a med student that he wouldn't do the test b/c I hadn't taken an antibiotic prophylactic.  Huh? Now, I take these for dental appointments, which seems way silly b/c my murmur is just no big deal.  But I got turned away with no warning, no one thought about this before I got there?  The murmur wasn't any secret or anything.

Irrationally, of course, I was devastated. 

I lost faith in that doctor b/c he couldn't be reached, hadn't planned ahead on any of this, etc.  He didn't predict.

So we walked away from the medical world for about 7 months and relied on acupuncture and OPKs.  Obviously, that natural strategy didn't work so well for us.  Many reasons, and ALL of them stressful and hard on the marriage.  dh is a bit older than me and so timed bd-ing is really stressful and always a bit of a fight.  just my luck.

Come the end of December we decide to go back to the medical world, but to get a new RE at the same clinic (it's the best one around in my opinion, and less expensive since it's part of a medical school, and my insurance covers nothing).

We love the new RE, she's awesome to say the least.

And I felt lucky when I found out that she is the one doing scans this week and the retrievals and stuff next week -- perfect for my schedule.

But Dr. 1 was there this morning, and did my monitoring sonogram.  It was weird.  And I didn't like it. 

Bad omen?  in my case, most likely.  The wonderful Dr.'s dad was having some health issues a couple of weeks ago, and so I worry that maybe she's had another family emergency.  This would be horrible for her, and to be completely selfish, me too.  I don't trust Dr. 1 to give me/my body the personal consideration that wonderful Dr. does.

But you all were right that I shouldn't give up hope on the number of follicles.  My little ones are growing very slowly but two more showed up today.  They are 11, 10, 10, 10, 7, and 6.    That's six in total, and maybe they'll all get on the same page maturity-wise.  That's better than 4.

I ordered more stims today, as it looks like I'll go a little longer than originally planned.  Of course, if we are relying on my body to respond in a positive way, that's a risky game that generally leads to disappointment.

I'm not optimistic today, as you can see.