I have not bought a HPT in a while, since like January (which feels like years ago relatively speaking). I think that Clear Blue Easy should have discounts for women who are having trouble with IF. Seriously, I can't even being to imagine how many pregnancy tests I've bought over the last 2.5 years.
But I can figure it out... I have a pretty short cycle so I think I've cycled about 39-40 times, and since I tend to be a bit overzealous in the testing, that would be maybe 150 tests.
Could that possibly be true? I really hope my arithmetic is off as that is really, really frightening. How much money would that be?! I can't even think about it. But I guess this addiction is better than heroine.
Think about it. That's a lot of injuries to the psyche, given that I only got a positive for two of them (I tested twice in a row when I got that first positive). 148 negatives. Fuck. No wonder I'm a bit of a mess inside.
With that history, it is with extreme trepidation that I revisit the HPT this week. I don't have one in my house so I have to buy one. Given that it's Sunday and I need it for Wednesday morning, I don't have time to order one online to spare myself the pain of going to the drug store and walking by the fucking diapers and baby food on the way to the "so you think you could possibly be pregnant? sucka!" section.
Maybe I could get the homeless guy who hangs out in front to do it for me. Maybe I could get someone else to pee on the stick and wait for the few minutes for the depressing single line for me too. Maybe I could crawl into a hole and just come out 12 months from now after all of this is said and done, when I will KNOW the answer and don't have to endure all of this anticipation.
I seriously can't use the sticks. They fuck with my head way too much, and so my husband made me super promise never to use them again.
ReplyDeleteBut I wish you loads of strength in the trip to the drug store.