Superstition

My rational self recognizes that my IF is not punishment for past misdeeds.  As a bloggie friend pointed out, if those of us facing IF are being punished, then that would then mean that women who are drug addicts and criminals deserve them.

Of course that makes no sense.

So there isn't a higher being keeping a detailed list of sins committed deciding who deserves what in the form of pay-back.

I've pretty much come to terms with that fact, although it bothers me still in some ways.

But I so have another irrational habit.

And that's superstition.

When I was in kindergarten I got in trouble for talking and had to stand in the corner.  I had on a cute little winnie-the-pooh dress, and I NEVER wore it again.  Afterall, that dress was "trouble".  This mentality has stuck with me over the years.

I got a bee in my bonnet about 6 weeks ago to paint my toes green for good luck.  A couple of weeks ago I redid the paint job, but not very well.  So today I decided to groom my claws.  And I dared to paint my toes red rather than green as a way to placate my rational self that keeps looking at those ugly toes with self disappointment.

While my rational self knows this makes absolutely no difference in the outcome of my tww, I still am plagued with a slight panic, that I just screwed it all up by changing my toes.  (and I know that I shouldn't be painting my toes at all with yucky chemicals, but by doing so I help to buffer against the likelihood that I am not pregnant and thereby don't feel as stupid for acting as though I were)

Do you all have superstitions you have a hard time avoiding during the tww?  do you keep them secret?