A 30% chance

I went out of town at the end of last week on a small business trip for dh, that combined with a visit to his parent's.

His folks are quite elderly (in their 80s) but still living on their own, driving, etc.  They are remarkably healthy, but it is very very clear that this is tenuous and not something to rely on for the long-term.  They also live about an 8 hour drive away from us.  We would like to change their living situation so that they are either closer to us or in a less strenuous situation or better yet, both.  But understandably it would be very hard to get them to move away from their current situation with the admission that things are just getting too hard to maintain.

But if we had a baby we could ask them to move closer to share in the baby's life.  They would likely do this in a heartbeat, as it solves so many issues with a very positive move for the future.

Dh and I talked a bit on the long drive and decided to let the summer unfold around the baby project, and if we can get the timing to work, to maybe try two IVFs.  It looks like we might be able to make the money thing work out, and gives us double motivation for a stay-cation.

I've been thinking lots about how you all responded so overwhelmingly with the vote for HOPE, and you are right.  I believe that there is a psychological effect on our bodies, and maybe if I have hope it will wash over my ovaries and uterus and anything else important in this IVF process and increase the odds that it will work.  And I will temporarily stop my mental bitter conversion of the "nursery" into my home office.  I'll let it sit in happy limbo, with hope that there will be a cute mobile over a crib in there one day.

I took my last BCP yesterday and will sit down this evening or tomorrow to plan out something for every single day of the next few weeks that will be healthy and positive for me, all aimed at increasing the success of the IVF.  I will do this right, so that my hope just might make the difference.

My doctor said there is a 30% chance (or a little less, to be honest) that this will work.

There was a 30% chance that BP's "top kill" wouldn't work, and it didn't.

So, things do happen with a 30% probability, and I might finally have a little bit of luck.  And if we do IVF twice, that actually might get us a 50% chance of success by the end of the summer.

So my bloggie sisters, I'm jumping into 30-50% hope with both feet.  I'll keep you posted on the plan for daily-hope-building.