Oh no, please, YOU first

Two posts here and here have gotten me thinking about the inequity of the IF situation.

I had a meeting with my dean today and I really pulled no punches.  I kind of figured that I had nothing to lose, and so I laid it all out on the table.  One of the issues I raised was how wrong it was for him and my dept chair to ask me to suck it up and sacrifice my research lab space for an incoming and more senior male professor this year.

Yep, that new male professor is in his 50s and wanted space for, amongst other as-yet nonexistent things, his young wife who just got her PhD.  Except, and you may have already guess this, she came to town 8 months pregnant and hasn't been seen on campus ever.  So he gets to jokingly complain about sleepless nights and how cute his little baby is.  And I get to cut back my research program so that he has enough extra unused space so that he feels welcome.

I think that those of us facing IF should get to have the most comfortable and roomy offices and labs and whatever else we fucking want at work.  We cover for the colleagues who have to leave early to pick little Joey or Janey up from school or be at some piano recital, we are supposed to accept the idea that people with kids should make more money, and provide baby gift after lasagna plate after girl scout cookie purchase...  On every front we are expected to be the most altruistic ones since we don't have kids of our own.

I want all IFfers to get an award attached to a big fact check for the "no reciprocity ever given" kindness and understanding we dish out at work (even if we do it begrudgingly).