I put dh on the airplane last night. This was rather sad and kind of scary b/c now I'm the only one responsible for me and the little-one, plus the cat and fish (that I just remember I forgot to feed this morning, the fish, not the cat -- the cat won't let you forget him. I keep telling that fish he needs to speak up more!).
I will be ok for the next 2.5 weeks. It really isn't all that long, and we have been apart for much much longer (like 5 months), but yea, this time is a bit different.
So I played the radio loud on the drive home and sang along, dancing a little in my seat. I am determined to be peaceful and content, as that is going to be the best thing for all involved, most importantly the little-one.
I remembered this morning why I want to have a baby -- because I really need something/someone else in my life to think about, worry about, care for, and love. My baby isn't here yet for the world to see, but I *have* actually gotten what I wanted. I DO already have somebody else to worry about, care for, nurture, love. It's still all secret to the rest of the world, and I haven't met him/her yet, but this person does technically exist. So I should really stop freaking out about whether or not this is going to happen and appreciate the fact that it has already started. This might be the only time in my life I get to be a mother. Even if it is just to an inch-long fetus still inside my body, this is my opportunity. I shouldn't waste it on worrying about whether or not it is going to be lost, and just enjoy the caring and nurturing and worrying I get to do right now.
So that's what I'm going to do today, and tomorrow, and hopefully for a long time.
But it might just be for two more weeks b/c I get to do the CVS test all by myself on August 25th. Oof.
(mantra: good things DO happen, good things DO happen, good things DO happen)
Good things DO happen. At least that is what I tell myself as I begin to panic waiting for my test results. Seriously, my heart rate just jacked up to about 100bpm, since they close at 4 and I haven't heard yet.
ReplyDeleteThe serious cramping ended when the procedure did, with just some pangs like period cramps during the course of the day. I'm getting such weird cramping anyway, this was only a little bit worse.
I took a cab home and lay on the sofa all day, except for the part of the day when I was in bed asleep.
Cramping is back to normal levels (plus maybe 20% today) which is supposedly normal. No exercise, lifting, sex or swimming/ baths until Monday.
It wasn't really that bad -- I don't want to make you too nervous!! You can ask me tons more qs at slphillipsnyc at gmail if you want.
Good things ARE happening!
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for your pep talk on enjoying the pregnancy. I am trying to do this, too. It is hard, but I think it is important. Even if things go wrong, we have to enjoy this while it lasts. Not that things will go wrong, of course.
Sorry your husband is out of town- I know 2 1/2 weeks seems life forever!
You'll be a great momma! Great things ARE happening. This is just the beginning.
ReplyDeleteMy husband has been out of town on and off, too ... hang in there! You're going to be a great mommy right now. Take care of you, and you will take care of the baby.
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