We had our first birth class tonight. It was so amazing to make it to a day that felt so far off for so long. When I signed us up for the class it felt silly, like there was no way I'd still be pregnant that far off in time. But here we are! 31 weeks.
It was amazing to walk into the hospital and realize that I will most likely walk out of there with a baby in two months...
But class. I wanted to tell you all a little about it because some of it really got my knickers in a twist.
A very hip looking couple walked in 15 minutes late and clearly hadn't registered. Turns out they already had one baby but came to the first-baby class because they had expected to go with an epidural for the first delivery only to find out that it didn't work for her, so they wanted to learn some pain-coping strategies.
I disliked them from the get-go. They talked about how their son was born 1.5 years ago and had meant to wait longer before having another, but when she went in to get an IUD they found out that she was pregnant.
Give me a &)!$&#% break. Why do people pretend to be surprised that they got pregnant when they didn't use birth control? These really aren't surprise babies at all. These are my-parents-are-raving-assholes babies, and particularly disgusting to those of us who have lived in IF land.
This couple then proceeded to repeatedly talk about what a horrible birth experience they had, how the hospital wouldn't tell them anything (though pls note that THEY were the ones who decided not to take the birth class the first time around), how she wasn't allowed to even have ice chips, etc. From everything that we just learned was standard practice at this very same hospital, their story made no sense. I think 80% of what they said was a lie, complete bullshit. Drama queens. I hope they don't come back.
I hated them for all of the IF world, as they are exactly the self-righteous, overly-fertile jerks that make our lives hell and like doing so.
Otherwise class was pretty good. Dh and I couldn't stop giggling through the breathing lesson, and I had to fart so it was impossible to relax with each breath, which just made the laughing harder to stop (because of course I told Dh about the need to fart...)
Damn fertiles. Hate 'em.
ReplyDeleteI hope you enjoy the rest of the class, I had mixed feelings about mine. And now it looks like it was even more useless, given I'm doing the c-section thing. We giggled a lot during our class too :)
Too bad about that couple-- Eric and I had the same giggling problem. Even more so, because most of the expectant fathers in the room seemed hell-bent on showing off what *sensitive partners* they were, rubbing and massaging their wives through the exercises. Eric and I seemed to be the only ones who couldn't really take it seriously-- except that we jokingly rigged up an elaborate breathing protocol that earned us praise from the teacher! It was all fun and funny. The real thing on the other hand...
ReplyDeleteYeah bummer about that couple. They will probably skip a bunch of classes,so hopefully you won't have to see them much.
ReplyDeleteWe met our best couples friends in our natural childbirth class. They sat right in front of us. We hang out usually once a week, sometimes more since then. So keep your eyes out for the good couples.
We giggled our way through our class, too, and even made up pet names for some of the people there. We were horrible ... I thought they were going to throw us out! In the end, I think some of it's useful, but mostly it's useful as a reality check: that yes, this event is really likely to happen to you, and SOON.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on arriving at week 31! I'm due at the very end of January ... so I keep joking with people that I might have my baby any day now, at work. That seems to make them all nervous. ;)
We're not taking birth classes (gasp! However will I know what to do!) so we will be spared such nonsense. People like that get on my last nerve, ESPECIALLY the whole 'I don't know how I got pregnant' attitude. That's grounds for a punch.
ReplyDeleteBut yay for you for making it 31 weeks! You're in the home stretch! I cannot WAIT for the birth story! :-)
you just made me laugh so much!! thank you!
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We just had our class last night too!! And giggled through it, especially at the movie (I'm just about to post about that!) Yay for 31 weeks!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, awesome milestone!!! That couple sounds incredibly annoying...as you sad fertile asses! Hoping the classes continue smoothly and that particular couple doesn't make another appearance. I find it hilarious they had so many complaints about that hospital, yet are choosing to have their second child there...must not be all bad!
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