It is very early in the morning again. I slept for about three hours and then woke with a headache. Laid in bed for an hour and then decided to get up and blog, surf the web.
Yesterday we did a bunch of house/baby errands. But I don't feel much better about it because I am ridiculously stressed out about strollers. Do any of you have advice? I really like the ones that you can switch the seat so that it faces front and/or back, but they are pretty expensive and the one I like the best has a bassinet thing that I really don't think I'd use much, and that increases the cost a lot.
And then I was thinking about the car seat. Those things are really heavy. How will I carry little M in her car seat? I am not that strong, and we live on a hill with lots of steps from our garage to our house.
Which leads into thinking about travel. I have been trying to envision flying to my parents this summer with a 3 month old (by myself). All of the gear is overwhelming me. Do I need to have her in her car seat on the plane ride? How will I carry it along with the seat base? How will I go to the bathroom myself? this seems to require not only a car seat but also a stroller to get all the stuff to the plane, and also a carrier so that I can take her to the bathroom with me and still have my hands free so I can use the restroom myself. And then what about all the stuff she'll need while we are there. Oh my god. I am starting to feel very overwhelmed by all the logistics.
It almost makes me feel like I should just stay at home for a year. But that is absurd, of course we should go places.
So then I try to just think of how much I am looking forward to holding little M. But then I start worrying about stillbirth; I unfortunately know two women IRL who lost babies during birth, and then there are all the ones online too. I have't let myself read too much about it, so I don't know all the reasons why this can happen, but I have started to think and worry more about it lately. I guess I won't fully believe that this baby is really going to be here until she is home with me.
But of course, there are other things to worry about too. For example, little M moves a lot these days, and it is sometimes really weird jerky movements: a random one punch, frantic flops like a fish out of water. This makes me worried. Do other fetuses move in sometimes really jerky ways or is there maybe something not right with her neurologically?
I look forward to the real morning when I will have managed to get back to sleep for an hour or two. Things will seem less overwhelming and worrisome then. The sun will be up, and I can try to go back to just being pregnant.
Sounds like you are sleep deprived. I got all stressed out in my third trimester due to lack of sleep and my doc put me on bed rest for three or four days. I drank a TON of water, ate, slept and watched crap tv. I loved it!! And I stopped stressing.
ReplyDeleteHere's what we have done about car seats & travel etc. ..
Car seats - Go to consumer reports - they have weight etc listed and recommendations for best carseats.
There is one that is designed to be lightweight - the Combi. Not cheap but not heavy and it is the one we bought to use on a plane (it's designed to fit the airplane seats) and since we will need car seats when we arrive. Because we use care seats on the plane we had to pay for the kids to have their own seat, which on an overnight international flight is worth it I think.
We spent very little money on anything for the kids - mostly second hand and donation (people are wonderfully generous when you let them know what you need) but we did spent a small fortune on the stroller. We live in NYC and it has to handle the crappy sidewalks and two babies.
I joined a ton of sites but mostly Manhattan Twins Club. People are very keen to sell their stuff and prices are so low. We got single items of so many things at a fraction of the cost of the regular stores.
Of course, you don't have to have twins to join the boards.
Hope you get some sleep and the worries fade away into the background. I say, spoil yourself for the rest of your pregnancy!!
Ahhh something I can help with. I have flown about 12 times with my 3 year old. So when the kids are under two. You can do a lap child, but you can also when you check in and get to the gate ask the desk person if there are any extra seats. If they say yes, ask if you could use that one for your child, they will often switch you to the one next to the empty then your child can have their own seat. It is not a 100% but it worked on about 8 out of 10 flights for us. If it doesn;t work you just gate check your car seat. Which I suggest you do anyway with the stroller, cause you need those two things in the airport. And the airlines let you gate check baby things for free. I think you get two items. We actually got an extra seat when our tot was 18 mos to Mexico. score!
ReplyDeleteIf you have the stroller and carseat in the airport it is really not too bad. good luck
Also the infant car seats can be used with out the base. Or at least they could 3 years ago, look at the directions. You feed the seatbelt through the slots on the top sides. Make sure to bring the latch plate which usually comes with the seat. That is the item that makes sure the seatbelt doesn't move. (most older cars need that) We did that a few times when we had to. I guess just check to see if they still make them that way. I may be outdated.
One final piece of advice, please read how to use the carseat. up to 80% of kids are not restrained properly. (I work at the health department next to the violence and injury prevention program and this is THEIR topic. I hear about it all the time) I've seen it first hand, mostly where the straps and the chest plate on the baby are too low (chest plate should be at armpit level) and too loose(should be snug not tight). So in the event of an accident the baby would be a little rocket. ok, enough about car seats and my soap box.
Try not to worry. I know it's hard, I am thinking all of the same things and scared on a daily basis. But hang in there you are so close and I think things will be fine.
Good Morning. It sounds like you need some sleep - I agree.
ReplyDeleteDon't stress about airplanes. They are easy with an infant, you can usually rent gear you need at your destination. I traveled alone when R was 6 weeks old and again at 12 AND I took the cat. So yes, the bathroom issue is tricky - but I just held her and did stuff with one hand. You can roll the stroller up to the gate, and I checked our car seat (but you can rent it).
Strollers stressed me out too. I researched and researched and researched. It (along with the carseat) was one thing I was buying new, since she'd be in it almost every day for a few years!). By the time I had narrowed it to 3 - NONE of them fit in my car. So I ended up with one that was much more expensive than I intended - but I could get it in my sorry little car's trunk space (barely).
OH - and when I was pregnant - R was really a jerky moving baby.
Sleep. Enjoy. It will all work out.
You know TWO women who lost babies during birth? You are freaking me out!!! Was it because something went wrong during delivery, or was it because there was something wrong with the babies themselves??
ReplyDeleteI was feeling more calm, since I read online that stillbirth risks peak at 36 weeks, and I am past that now. But now that I have to worry about neonatal death-- well, don't scare me like that!!
I hope you have good luck with the stroller situation-- it is a hard decision. We ended up with the Chicco, which is pretty inexpensive, but has some mixed reviews...
You are stressing about two things I've been stressing about - strollers and traveling alone with baby. I've read the reviews from Baby Bargains on strollers, but still can't make up my mind. And I'm seriously considering never visiting my parents again, or at least until he's 4 or 5 years old. But that won't work, will it?
ReplyDeleteAnd then there are the constant worries of stillbirth. It's so rare, but once you know several people that it's happened to, it seems so much more likely. I usually manage to calm myself down with that one though - it's something we have no control over, and right now, in this moment, I can feel my baby moving. So right now, I know that all is right with the world.
As long as I can pick out a stroller.
Skimp on everything but the stroller and the baby carrier. Buy the crib at IKEA, where you can get something cheap and simple and sturdy. Get clothes second hand. Don't buy a high chair yet, you won't need it for months. Join some parents groups in your area, most have email lists, and get things as other people finish with them.
ReplyDeleteBuy the stroller you love, but skip the bassinet attachment. Spend the extra on a good carrier ($40 for a moby or $100 for an ergo.) It will save your life when traveling,shopping or just unloading the dishwasher. I didn't use my stroller for the first six months of my first boy's life. They're big and unwieldy and your child will probably be happier next to you.
Don't stress about it. It will be okay.
Oh I have sooo much to write here, but (a) this post is old and I don't know if you'll see it and (b) I too am going to travel with baby at about 8 weeks. Yikes!! If you'd like, you can email me at slphillipsnyc at gmail. Get some rest!
ReplyDeleteMany (((Hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI had insomnia in the last trimester with both my kids and it was really awful. I would then have lots of time to "think" which is not always good. With #2 I learned to sleep when I was tired as much as possible. During the semester it wasn't really possible because of teaching and research students, but I tried to get afternoon naps when I could. I also stopped laying around when I woke up. I got up and read the paper, checked my on-line readings, etc. I found I got tired faster by being up and therefore was able to get back to sleep.
So many people would tell me that it was just preparation for the kid and would laugh at me when I said no. I slept much better once the kiddos were out in my arms than when they were in me.
As for strollers. We went with an infant seat (graco) for the first 6-8 months and a snap n go like stroller for that seat. I like the infant seat because you can move the kid when they are sleeping without disturbing them, plus they have somewhere to be when you are running around getting stuff done. Until they have head control and can sit up decently it is hard to go to the store if they don't have a seat to be in. After that we moved to a light weight McClaren stroller and LOVE it.
Traveling with baby is totally do-able! As others have said, take the stroller and gate check it. Infants under the age of 2 can be a lap baby. (I have never had any luck with getting the unused seat beside me). Depending on how long the trip is you might not need the bathroom. (and once the baby comes out you don't have to go as much). I go to the bathroom before getting on the plane, where my kid can sit in his stroller in the handicapped bathroom stall and then do the same as soon as I get off the plane. The plane has great white noise and both my kids (even the really bad sleeper) slept well on the plane. I nursed or took enough bottles to feed both on the way up and down. (one kid bf and the other refused).
I agree with others - try not to stress too much and try to get some sleep!