One year

I started this blog exactly one year ago today.  It has been a year of years in so many ways, and this blog and all of my blog-sisters have been one of the most important parts of it.  You have helped to redefine me and changed the way I think about the world and people and life.  I thought I'd take a moment to list three of the important things I have learned from blogging over these 365 days.

1) Feelings of desperation won't last forever.  

Do you ever have those nights where everything feels panicky and terrible and doomed.  You finally fall asleep and when you wake up the next morning things don't seem so bad?  This happens on a much longer time-frame too.  I still vividly remember those pit-of-my-stomach crying bouts from the miscarriage and other b.s., but I am in a new place now.  May I continue to have the wisdom to be patient and find some peace knowing that things will get better, even if it takes a long time, things will get better.

2) There really are people out there who "get it".

I should have reached out to the blogging community much earlier than I did.  I can't express how important it has been (and still is) to read other women's stories who confront somewhat similar problems.  All of our lives have their unique elements and no two experiences and histories are the same, but we all struggle with the same type of pain.  IF is a very different pain than most other bad things, and it leaves us so isolated.  Every day since I started blogging I have seriously looked forward to getting on-line and seeing how you all are doing.  I can't even begin to express how happy and loved it makes me to read your comments and thoughts and advice and love on my blog posts.  I am not alone.  I am not alone.  There is no better feeling in the world than knowing that someone gets you and cares enough to let you know that you are not alone.  Thank you.

3) Unconditional support is the most amazing thing to give and to receive.

This community is so different from real life, and real life should be more like blog-land.  We face enough challenges in our real lives.  Here, in IF blog-land, we reassure and hold each others' hands.  I know I am not always so good at this, but I do try.  I have learned over the year how to search for words that comfort and hopefully don't give even a twinge of judgment.  It is hard, but the practice I have gotten here has changed how I offer compassion to people in real life.  I have learned that there are many times when the right words are just "yes, it completely and totally sucks".  We shouldn't feel obliged to always offer advice or attempt to solve someone else's problem.  We mostly just need to be there, sitting side-by-side with a warm touch on the shoulder to reassure. 

I want to thank you all for sharing your lives with me, your beautiful and touching and often heart-wrenching posts.  You are brave souls to put your lives out here for others to read and find solace from.  I have gained so much wisdom from your experiences, your bravery, and the brutal honesty with which you express how you are feeling.  And thank you so much for being here for me.  I am so much the better thanks to your love.  I hope the next year takes all of us in wonderful directions and brings us even closer.

love, inB