Some of the good things running through my head:
2) I took Thursday off from work and took care of myself specifically, for example:
A visit to the MAC store to update all of my make-up
A visit to several card/stationary stores to buy valentine's and birthday cards for the next few months
A visit to Aveda, Kiehl's, the drug store, etc. to stock up on my cosmetics/toiletries
A visit to BabiesRUs to get booties and socks for lil M and a waterproof pad to start keeping under me at night in case my water breaks and for the drive to the hospital, if necessary.
The hairdressers to, horror of all horrors, get highlights in my hair (I was starting to feel very mousy and couldn't take it anymore. She was really careful to try and keep me away from chemical fumes and not touch my scalp.)
3) I have been happy with a purchase from HalfTees -- my belly really doesn't like it when things touch it. I find that these have been really comfortable to layer with, keeping the weight on the top of my belly very minimal.
The stressful things running through my head:
1) I had a minor meltdown when Irrational Exuberance had her baby earlier this week. She's about a week ahead of me. Holy S*&%?T, I could have this baby any day now! I sat down and made a list of the essential things I need to get done prior to M's estimated arrival date. My list is way too long. The only good thing about this is that, given the type of work I do, no one will die if I fail to finish something.
2) We had a lunch break during baby-care-class yesterday and walked over the Whole Foods Market to get something to eat. It was really crowded and someone ran into the back of me with their cart. It hurt a little, but mostly just rattled the shit out of me as I am very, very careful with myself. I turned around and a teenage girl turns around to her dad who looks over at me and under his breath in annoyance says, "oh, sorry". WTF? "oh sorry" is all he can do? His daughter just about knocks over a woman who is 8 months pregnant and that's the best he can do? I was trying to get Dh's attention when a nice nurse from the hospital comes up and rubs my arm, telling me that she thinks the girl is autistic. I appreciated this, as something like that is the only excuse for what SHE did (and did even not apologize for), but her father really should have been a lot nicer about it. I was pretty shaken after that, but holding it together.
Until, that is, Dh decided to freak out about the "tone" of baby class. He doesn't like to be told what to do and seemed to think that the class was directed at him personally or something. While we were eating lunch he complained and complained and then said something along the lines of "if I had known what all this would entail I wouldn't have agreed to it." Needless to say, I LOST it. Of course, I took this to mean that he didn't want the baby. We sort of stopped talking, made it back to class with me only looking half freaky, and then went home.
After a few hours of trying to pretend like there wasn't a problem we managed to get the conversation going. It was wonderful. We really needed to have it as there is a lot of trepidation and some misunderstanding that is coming between us, even though on the surface we've been getting along great. Dh was really really clear that he really really wants this baby, and, that he really wants his wife back. It was a great wakeup call for me when he said that he thinks the closer I can get back to who I was when we first got married, the more I'd be the person he wants to be the mother of his daughter. Maybe that sounds weird, but he's right. I need to find my strength and confidence again so that I can be a good role model for little M as well as a loving mother.
3) I have decided that all those instructions books and classes cause more stress than they may be worth. In baby class the instructor made me feel like a lot of my actions and decisions were wrong -- i.e., the baby bath tub, the type of laundry detergent I've been using, the moses basket, the rocking chair, etc. I am really trying my best here. That's really all I can do and I refuse to feel guilty for things that can't possibly really matter.
Love you all. Sorry I'm not posting or commenting very much. I am keeping up with all of you, but for some reason I'm having a really hard time writing comments. I'm a bad, bad blog sister these days. Please forgive me!
What a pretty picture of you!! You are almost there.. so happy for you.
ReplyDeleteYou look amazing-- and yes, basically any day now! Or, 6 weeks from now... You know? It's a weird wait, especially if you go past your due date.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure I understand where your husband is coming from-- how are you not the person that he married? You seem great to me-- thoughtful, smart, witty... where's the problem?
I also think your baby class sounds too strict!! They are criticizing your rocking chair??? Please.
You do look lovely. And how organised are you! I found the last trimester was the hardest in emotional terms for both partners.
ReplyDeleteSuper cute pic!!!! I bet it felt great to get so much accomplished, wow!!! You're just about read to have a baby, momma!!! You look beautiful and I know you will be a great, confident mom.
ReplyDeleteI go through phases where commenting is difficult for me, so don't force it...we are all here, regardless. Xoxoxox
You look incredible!
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite things about the attachment parenting books I've been reading is that they repeat, over and over, that not everything they recommend is going to work for you and your child. They stress that you have to do what's right for you now, and when your child is born, what is right for your child. You're the expert on you and your baby, so try not to let all the classes freak you out too much!
Oh, and the idea for the waterproof pad in the bed is genius! I'm going to have to get one for myself, too!
just catching up ... definitely take all of that advice with a grain of salt. You'll learn a lot about parenting on the fly, and most of it doesn't fit on the registry. :)
ReplyDelete*hug* Hang in there ... you look terrific!
You just described my Friday night with my DH. We had a big huge come to jesus talk and it was all heightened emotions, walking out of the room, walking back in the room, raising voices, lowering voices, anxiety, tears (mine), and at the end we were able to make up. You're not the only one! The husbands get affected by our hormones too, they're just not as good at articulating it.
ReplyDeleteI'm just a couple weeks behind you and it's so crazy to think that we're seriously in the home stretch! It's going to be awesome, you're going to do great and it's all going to come out in the wash. Have a carseat so they let you come home with the kid - everything else will just happen and it'll be all right. :-)
Cheering for you!!